My “It’s Testing Season and Blood May Be Shed if I Don’t Get Some Chocolate” Declaration

It’s testing season, and I am about to lose my mind.  Can I get a witness?  It’s that time of year when I am pushing as hard as I can because I know what the numbers need to be.  I am a perfectionist, so all it takes is for an administrator to point out to me what we need for me to nearly kill myself to make it happen.  I can be my own worst enemy.

But friends, I am not my own worst enemy.  As a believer, I have a very real enemy, and these days he is using all this against me to try to destroy me.  So I felt a little Springtime, testing, end of the year declaration was needed.  I also have a raging headache today, so that feeds my sense of “I AM DONE!”

Time to tell the root of the problem, my accuser who always wants me to feel that I can’t do this, we will never pull off these scores, nobody is listening when I am presenting these stellar, technology, latest data based approach to learning lessons, what he can do.  

Satan, Father of lies, listen up, (Cue the Rocky Theme Song music)

“I am done.  It took me a minute to realize that you are the root of the problem.  You want me to believe that whatever I do, it will not be enough.  That’s a lie.  You want me to believe that as hard as I try, I am not making a difference.  You want me to believe that I am grading these papers, planning these engaging plans for nothing.  Those are lies.  You want me to think “I don’t get paid enough for all this work”.  When that child that is a hard core discipline problem has an exceptionally bad day, you want me to believe that he or she won and that I now am an ineffective idiot that can’t even control a classroom.  When I look at the mountain, no,  mountain range, of papers that needs to be graded, you want me to believe that these must be done now or my efficiency is in question.

Well, here’s the truth.  I don’t belong to you.  I am a child of the King.  I do not view any of these the same as you do with your self-centered, deceiving eyes.  I look at these kids, and this situation with the same eyes as my Father God.  The difference that I am making is not always seen immediately for God is in this for the long term.  He loves every side of these kids, and as I am being obedient, He is changing lives.  As I handle situations with a firm but loving hand, I model my unconditional loving Father Who may have me as just a piece of their life’s puzzle.  I don’t need to see immediate results which can just feed my ego.  So whether it be test scores, discipline issues or classroom management skills, I will follow my Abba Father,  Who will give me wisdom and discernment in the moment and help me to sometimes see glimpses of  light in the ocean of darkness.  Jesus, my King, came to set me free, and I will live proclaiming freedom in Christ and leading kids to freedom from the bondage of ignorance.  I will never give up, remembering that ultimately, my home is Heaven, and yours is Hell.”

Done…bring me the CHOCOLATE.

Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.  Galatians 5:1 The Message

P.S. I feel a large trash bag and a whole bunch of ungraded papers about to meet.

Free.

Kathy

 

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I need this.

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